Doggie Heaven Hotel: Science

Jax and Elly

The cloning experiment has proven a success.

Doggie Heaven Hotel has just released photos of its latest cloning experiment.

“Jax,” Labradoodle [Specimen #23709] was cloned, and “Elly” [Specimen #23796] was produced.

The most amazing accomplishment lies in the fact that DHH scientists were able to go in and successfully remove the Chasing-The-Tail gene as well as the Incredible-Loud-Bark gene.

In a deft bit of genetic engineering, the Doggie Heaven Hotel scientists also successfully changed Jax into a girl clone.

Elly

A mistake in the experiment has threatened to overshadow this breakthrough accomplishment. As Elly started to grow and develop, scientists realized that she had developed the dreaded Eat-Anything-And-Everything-Within-A-Hundred-Yards gene.

Stay tuned for updates from the Doggie Heaven Hotel labs.

The alien dog has returned.

Henry has been with us for sixteen days. He still won’t allow any photos to be taken. I did manage to get these images through my dining room window and behind a tree with a telephoto lens.

He keeps to himself mostly and still spends a lot of time under my bed. Again I suspect that he uses some kind of communication device to contact the mother ship. I have discretely peeked under the bed for any evidence of the transmission; so far I have found nothing.

I have been doing a lot of research online about aliens. At first I thought that I wouldn’t find anything. I was pleasantly surprised with the amount of information. There was lots and lots of information on aliens and pictures and FACTS. Did you know that some people have even been abducted by aliens? I had no idea that aliens were so ubiquitous.

It turns out that most aliens have large elongated heads, big eyes and no hair. Some have tails but definitely no hair. This seems strange to me since Henry has so much hair. This leads me to another conclusion, and that is Henry is a shape-shifter alien.

This would clear up the under-the-bed mystery. Of course, why didn’t I think of it before—he is shape shifting under the bed. That’s why I never find any broadcasting devices.

I am afraid, however, that Henry has not been a good influence on the other dogs here at Doggie Heaven Hotel. I think he has been trying to turn them into aliens with his blue eye. (I tell my kids not to stare too long at “the eye.” I know that this whole story sounds weird but I have photographic evidence, really.)

See below.

Here it is—notice that this appears to be red eye, only aliens have two different eye colors and this phenomenon happens without a flash. This is the way Henry (alien dog )looks just before changing other beings into aliens. I closed my eyes when I took this picture so I wouldn't be changed into an alien.

Poor April didn't last long, she was the first dog I was sitting to succumb to the alien dog's shape-shifting glance.
Next was my very own beloved Moondoggie. I just witnessed her carving a flat-topped mountain out of mashed potatoes.
Even the Jack Attack wound up under the extraterrestrial's spell. Willie can't believe what he is seeing.