Doggie Heaven Hotel

Quote of the Week

"My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost $7.00 in dog money

—Joe Weinstein

Even Supermodels Have Bad Days

This is Carmel, a male Standard Poodle.

But, I don’t think Carmel looks much like a boy. I think he looks like a supermodel, thin, all legs, a picky eater—he even walks like a supermodel.


I call him Carmel Macchiato because Carmel Macchiato is a supermodel’s name.

I took Carmel Macchiato, the supermodel, for a run at the neighbor dog park. Away from the paparazzi, he could be just another normal dog. He had a blast romping with the pack—but when he came back to me something was odd.

He still looked like a supermodel.

He still walked like a supermodel.

But he didn’t smell like a supermodel.

Hmmmm. It seems rough play with one of the “country” dogs landed Carmel Macchiato in some bushes. My theory is that a skunk had sprayed the bushes not too long before Carmel doddered through them, leaving Carmel—how shall I say this—rather ripe.

But as I’ve said before, dogs love things that stink.

Gotta Mint?

I love dogs.

But why, oh why do they love things that stink?

I’m not talking about stinky cheese, or gin.

If you’re a dog owner, I think you know what I mean.

I live near horses. On occasion I walk my dog and other dogs off leash near the horses. Every once in the while I will have a dog that likes to investigate the horses but mostly what they really want to do is to eat horse poop. That’s right—road apples—manure.

Horse dung isn’t the only animal waste they like either. They love kitty poop and coyote poop and all things poop.

When they are not attempting to eat it, they like to roll in it and when they are not rolling in other animals’ excrement, they like to roll in dead things, anything decomposing works.

My husband’s theory is that they are attempting to cover up their own scent in order to fool their prey. I keep reminding him that they really don’t need to go to all that trouble to sneak up on that bowl of kibble I just put out for them.

I was watching my favorite wolf, Gus, today. I took him for a walk past a friend’s house. My friend has cats, and Gus found some delicious kitty droppings buried along the trail. Before I could stop him, he ate some.

Here’s the strange thing—no matter how much people know about this...ah...behavior, they still want to kiss their dogs on the mouth. They still allow their dogs to lick them on the face. While I love dogs, I mean I really love dogs—more than some humans, I still have that Lucy-like reaction when I accidentally get licked on the mouth by a dog.

Eeewwww, dog germs, yuck.

I want to wash my mouth out and take one of those HAZMAT showers with the water pressure so high it strips the skin from your bones. I have just seen dogs eat too much doo-doo to enjoy “doggie kisses” as I’ve heard some of my friends call them.

Come on people, dogs lick their own butts.

After Gus’s kitty poop incident, his breath was so bad I couldn’t get near him. I was contemplating taking him back home when I suddenly remembered that sample pack of doggy mints I had been given once. I dug through my doggie junk drawer and thank goodness, found them.

 

The mints actually worked—hallelujah—but I’m still never going to let him kiss me, no matter how cute he is.

Quote of The Week

"My dog, she looks at me sometimes with that look, and I think maybe deep down she must know exactly how I feel. But then maybe she just wants the food off my plate."

—Unknown